Red Dress
by Snooklepookle
Summary: Short very AU fic, Craig meets a girl in a red dress and gets a little surprise.
1. Chapter 1

**Part 1**

"I'm _reeeally _sexy you know," Craig looked at his step brother and nodded his head, as he chucked back his 10th pint," I am… really, sexy Craigy."

Darren kept a straight face, "yeah, course you are mate." He couldn't hold the chuckle anymore, "sooo sexy."

Craig carried on nodding even though it was making him feel slightly sick, "I could pull anyone in here… anyone, cos… cos, I'm luverley… got eyelashes yer know. Always… always get 'em with me eyelashes," Craig batted them at Darren to prove his point.

"Absolutely gawgess Craig," Darren grinned.

"I think maybe you've had a little to much to drink," Elliot decided it needed to be said.

"Nah, nah Elli, fine me, hold me drink, man me," he grinned, chucking his arm around an awkward looking Elliot.

"Well that may well be the case, but I can see your equilibrium is being abused, I suggest you make that your last," Elliot nodded, moving Craig's arm off his shoulder.

"You're… you're just jealous, cos you ain't got eyelashes and couldn't pull everyone. See… see her over there, could have her," Craig boasted a little disturbingly, "or… or her... weird red hair, her... over there, yeah her, have her."

Darren looked at where he was pointing.

"Her, in the red dress?" Darren asked.

"Yeah, yeah her, betcha I could pull her," Craig nodded.

"Ok then, 20 quid says you can't," Darren grinned.

"Deal," Craig nodded and tried to shake one of the many hands of Darren he was seeing. They got there in the end when Darren decided he was the one who had to grab Craig's hand or they would've been there all year.

Craig stumbled his way over to the girl in the red dress. It took him a little longer than expected as someone kept wobbling the floor all over the place, or so Craig thought.

"Hello darlin'," Craig declared as he reached the girl, "fancy a dance?"

As he asked, the world suddenly went very black as he landed head first in her lap.

Craig woke up wondering where the bloody hell he was. It was cold, especially on his bum. He opened his eyes slowly to see the girl looking down at him.

"What?" He asked as that was all he was able to think.

"You fainted, brought you outside," the girl replied with the gruffest voice and the bluest eyes.

"I did… oh," Craig wasn't quite sure what to say. "So, we gonna dance then," he pulled his sexy yet cute grin.

"Nah, don't think so mate," the girl replied.

"We gonna go back to yours… for a little naughties," he chuckled.

"Yeah, that would be interesting, come on then," the girl put her arm under Craig and lifting him from the cold ground, propped him up.

"Yeah?" Craig was a little surprised. Even pissed he was shocked he had actually pulled.

Going along the street, the girl struggled to keep Craig upright. She finally got him to the students campus where she lived, as he attempted little kisses on her cheek and neck, which she kept trying to avoid. Bundling him through the front door and then the room of her bedroom, he fell on the bed and discovering it was lovely and comfy, fell asleep.

"Yeah, that's about right," she mumbled as she pulled off his trainers, coat and trousers. "Sleep well mate," she smiled, as she undressed and crashed out next to him.

Craig's head hurt. He knew if he opened both eyes it would really hurt. One eye open was ok, but he didn't know where the fuck he was so guessed he really needed to prise open the other one to get his bearings. Bracing himself, he slowly let his other eyeball meet the world.

"Oh fuck," he mumbled, the effect of daylight making him want to hide under the quilt, away from all the brightness. He started to have empathy with the vampires of old, the ones who didn't wear sunglasses and go out in the sun.

"You awake then?" A voice asked him as he peeped from under the quilt, seeing a blond haired, blue eyed bloke looking at him.

"Er… er yeah, who are you?" Craig asked looking slightly alarmed, he did wonder if he'd been kidnapped, but the kidnappers were nice and gave him a bed.

"John Paul, you came back with me last night for naughties," he grinned.

"What?" Craig shot up in bed, "we… we…" he felt all the blood run from his cheeks and not just from the sudden movement. He'd never had naughties with a bloke, he didn't know how that happened. He tried to remember, all that came back was blue eyes, red dress and a cold bum.

"You came up to me, asked me if I wanted to dance, then said to come back here for naughties," John Paul replied casually, zipping up his hoody.

"So… so did we… yer know?" He concentrated on his bum, decided that didn't hurt so wondered if he'd done the plunging. He then reminded himself he didn't plunge boys, but go him for being so liberated when drunk. He then reminded himself again, he didn't plunge boys, so it really wasn't a thing to be go him'ing himself about.

John Paul sat on the edge of the bed.

"So does that make you feel a little excited that we may have?" John Paul pulled a sexy face.

"Well," Craig quite blatantly felt his plonker to check, "feels a little hard." He then realised what he said and blushed.

John Paul started to laugh, "really? Well that's good to know."

Craig sat there for a moment, trying to suss what was going on. It then struck him.

"But… but you was a girl… I mean, you had on a red dress and had long red hair. You had on fish net tights," it then hit him, "are you a tranny?" Well Craig knew he never won points on subtlety.

John Paul started to laugh again, "no I'm not a tranny. It was my sisters engagement party, a vicars and tarts do. All the blokes had to dress as tarts and the girls, vicars. That's why I was wearing the stuff you mentioned. Bloody uncomfortable it was and drafty," John Paul was perched on the side of the bed as heremembered how he'd tried to warm up his bits.

"Right, so er… why am I here then? Are you gay? Didn't you worry I might, yer know freak, when I realised you were a bloke?" Craig questioned, well it needed to be asked.

"I guessed you'd crash out when we got back here and I couldn't leave you on the bloody street could I? Didn't know who you were with or where you lived, so thought best to bring you here. Even if you did freak, knew I could handle it, after all you were so gone, don't think you'd dent a pillow if you hit it," John Paul grinned. "and yes, I am gay, but that weren't why I brought you back here. I was the perfect gentleman," he nodded, standing up and heading for the door. "Making a cuppa now, if yer want one," he declared as he left the room.

Craig wandered out in to the front room in his boxers and t shirt and asked where the loo was. Once he got himself sorted, he sat at the table and thanked John Paul for the tea.

"My head hurts," he declared, because it did.

"You were well pissed mate. The fact you thought I was girl, I mean really, showed how pissed you were," John Paul chuckled.

"Yeah, well, guess dress, stockings, red hair, blue eyes was all I was focusing on. By the way you should wear stockings more often, your pegs looked gawwgesss in them," Craig winked and chuckled.

John Paul tried to stop the blush, he knew Craig was taking the piss but still. It wasn't right for a sexy as fuck, bed haired, good looking, boxer shorted bloke to say things like that to him. After all, he was but human. He quickly picked up the newspaper to hide his redness and prayed Craig would just sit quietly and drink his tea.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

"Nice place you got here," Craig decided to say as he felt a bit of a pranny sitting there looking at a bloke reading the paper.

"Yeah, well I work as a DJ some nights, while at uni, so can afford an ok place," John Paul stated from behind the paper.

"Cool. I'm gonna be working at me step dads place in the summer hols. Just got back from uni in Dublin. You might know the pub, The Dog?" Craig wondered if he would continue talking to a newspaper, it wasn't he really minded but he liked John Paul's blue eyes and wanted to look at them. Feeling that maybe John Paul had read his mind, he lowered the paper.

"You're Frankie's son? Darren's step brother?" John Paul asked. "Right makes sense."

"What makes sense?" Craig asked a little confused.

"Last night, when you passed out in my lap, I was trying to carry you out and Darren was just pissing himself laughing. Never told me he bloody knew you," John Paul scowled.

"So Darren knows you?" Craig asked.

"Yeah, go to The Dog a bit. Done some DJ sets there and my sister works behind the bar," John Paul nodded.

"What, Mercedes?" Craig asked as John Paul nodded. "She's well fit."

"So people say," John Paul raised the newspaper.

"It's weird though, cos she's like dark haired and eyed and your blond and got blue eyes. Never have guessed you were related. But guess you both get marks for being fit," Craig suddenly stopped himself. He had one of those 'what the fuck? Where did that come from, he's not a girl and yes he may have great eyes and legs on him but still, what are you saying, have you gone mental?' moments that can happen to people in life. He decided to just stare down at the table and hope John Paul hadn't heard.

John Paul put the newspaper on the table and looked at Craig. He wanted to chuckle at his red cheeks and Craig looking everywhere but at him, he had an 'awww so cute' moment.

"You ain't so bad yerself," John Paul smiled and took a quick glug of tea as he felt his mouth go dry.

"You… yer think I'm fit?" Craig looked up a bit sheepishly.

"Yeah, you are," John Paul decided to be brave.

"Cool, thanks," he grinned and to John Paul's surprise, seemed happy with the compliment. Craig was, he found he quite liked John Paul saying that and shocked himself even more he wasn't freaking about it.

"Are you gay?" John Paul had to ask.

"Nah, but er… never say never eh?" He held John Paul's gaze for a minute then looked down, realising that he may be flirting just a little. He again shocked himself he was quite happy to do that.

"Right… well, yes, mean best to not stifle your options. But normally one way or the other, but know some people do like a bit of both, don't get that, but they do and well, guess good to be versatile and er… stuff," John Paul knew he had to stop talking.

"So are you a bottom or a top?" Craig asked quite casually as John Paul spat out his tea in shock. Jumping up he grabbed some kitchen towel to wipe the table, more as a distraction than an urge for cleanliness.

"I… well, why d'you wanna know that?" John Paul asked.

"Well, I've never had it up the arse and I wondered, like, does it hurt? I hear if you hit a certain spot, it gets yer going. I had some girly fiddle around me bum hole and that felt cool. But don't get how you can stick something up there and it don't hurt, even if you do hit the spot and…" Craig took a breath as John Paul looked on in shock, "how d'yer know if you're gonna hit the spot? I mean, you could be poking around up there and never get it, then surely it'd just hurt right?" Craig asked as he realised he thought way too much about this. But still it was out there now, he couldn't take it back.

"I… well… er," John Paul was feeling a little distracted and hot, "it er… well guess you just find it," he decided he needed to get a grip, "we're not talking cavernous arse area or anything. You know, can be quite… er tight and well, you find it…. and er, yeah, it can hurt at first, but what you feel after blows it away, if you relax and enjoy," John Paul had no idea how he managed to answer that so easily without spluttering his words.

"Right, cool. So, we didn't do_ stuff_ last night then?" Craig asked, both hands cuddling his mug.

"No, I told you we didn't," John Paul was dying to know where this convo was going.

"Why not? You said I was fit, so why not?" Craig asked as John Paul looked a little surprised. He found he'd been pretty much wearing that expression since he started talking to Craig.

"Well firstly, you thought I was a girl and kept asking to touch my boobies. Secondly you was pissed out yer head and I'm not gonna end up molesting you when you haven't got a clue what's going on, even if you are fit. I'm not some sort of sad perv. Thirdly, I don't do one night stands as a rule," John Paul nodded.

"Right, fair enough. So, you want love and romance and stuff then, then you fuck?" Craig asked, seemingly unaware he was being so blatant.

"Er… well, at least know 'em a bit. But yeah, I do want love and stuff, nowt wrong with that," John Paul frowned in a kind of 'don't you are say there is' way.

"Right, cool. So you wouldn't let someone you just met fuck you then? Even if they said it wouldn't be a one off. They'd wanna see if it could be something " Craig asked all la la, like he was asking about the weather.

"Well… er… no, I mean… er… no," John Paul felt all sorts of tinglings all over the place. He was wondering if Craig meant them fucking and if he did he felt the urge to break his rules. But then he thought it would be like he was bullshitting, so decided to go for the 'no'.

"Shame that," Craig smiled as he stood up and made his way to the bedroom to get dressed as John Paul watched his boxer clad arse walk away.

"Fuck, now what do I do?" he quietly asked himself as he sat, still gobsmacked, doing a fish Paul waked into the bedroom to find Craig staring out the window and stretching. John Paul couldn't stop his eyes from looking at the way Craig's boxers sat on his hips and his t shirt rose showing a lovely bit of tanned back and top of arse. He gulped and decided he really did need to move. As he wandered to a drawer, his eyes decided they still need to look at the fit toned legs and slightly muscley arms, there in front of him.

"Fuck," he muttered quietly as he started to look through the drawer for nothing in particular, just wanted an excuse to be there.

"Got a good view here. I mean, yeah uni ground, but at least looking over the grassed area. Guess these are the posher places for people who pay more?" Craig asked.

"Er dunno. We just said we wanted a small flat, on campus and could pay a certain amount. At the time, my boyfriend lived here with me and we wanted a place to ourselves. Anyway, when we split up about 8 months ago, I stayed here and he went," John Paul wished he could stop his mouth from just talking. He was pretty sure Craig didn't want to know about his ex.

"Right. Must've been hard living here after he went. You know, memories and that," Craig turned around and started to scratch his belly lifting his t shirt to do so as John Paul realised he was staring at his so toned and flat bronzed stomach that he wanted to eat all sorts of unhealthy food off of. He quickly pulled his eyes away.

"Er.. nah, been ok. By the time he went it was kinda best we went our own ways. After all, he wanted to screw around and I wanted us to be just us," John Paul nodded as he realised he'd picked nothing out the drawer so started to look in the wardrobe instead.

"That's fair enough. Never been into screwing around meself really. Tried it for a while, but missed the intimacy. Yer know, in a soppy way," Craig chuckled and went a little red. He realised when he blatantly flirted he didn't go red, but when he said soppy stuff he did. He guessed he had to stick to the blatant flirting.

"Yeah, know what you mean," John Paul smiled at him.

"Look can I take a shower? Bit smelly," Craig asked.

"Er yeah course, get you a towel," John Paul wandered to another set of drawers and pulled one out. When he turned around to give the towel to Craig, he was naked. What made it worse he was slightly bent over the chair, piling his clothes up. John Paul came over a little weird. He felt so hot and drooley, he couldn't tear his eyes away. It wasn't right, Craig all gorgeous and naked, bending there, his lovely arse, looking all willing and beautiful. He realised he had actually dropped the towel and needed to pick it up. As he went to stand up once getting it from the floor, he came face to face with Craig's dick, "oh fuck," he muttered as he stood up, to see Craig smiling at him.

"Towel then," Craig chuckled, reaching out for it.

John Paul just stared at Craig got a grip and passed him the towel as he took it and headed for the door.

"Er John Paul, got a bit of drool there mate," Craig chuckled as he walked out.

John Paul stood there, realising not only was he bucketing the drool, his dick was pointing in the direction Craig and gone, like it was telling him to go there. He was all flustered and felt like he was in a volcano it was so hot. He didn't really know what to do. He started to pace about, hoping that would help. He realised he wanted to have a good old Tommy, but couldn't risk that. He then realised even better than a Tommy, he wanted to jump in the shower with Craig and just go for it. He couldn't believe that this was happening. Stuff like this didn't go on in his life, a beautiful bloke he didn't really know, parading around his flat, all naked who seemed interested in him and was so obvious about it. He suddenly had a thought. Thus produced an annoyed moment. Was Craig winding him up? Did he think it was fun to get 'the gay' all worked up? Scowling, he realised that was what Craig was most definitely doing and he wasn't having that.

John Paul stormed into the bathroom and pulled back the shower curtain. Craig looked up surprised as at that moment his hand was sitting quite nicely on his dick. He smiled at John Paul.

"What the… I mean, what…" John Paulspluttered as pulled his eyes away from where Craig's hand lingered and remembered he was meant to be angry, not all squiffy. "Look is this a wind up? You taking the piss?" He asked as Craig turned off the water to hear him better. "You thinking you can walk around looking all… all naked and… and gorgeous and get the gay bloke going so if he tried anything, could tell him to fuck off? Is that what this is all about?" John Paul asked wishing Craig would put on some clothes and remove his hand that he noticed, was still moving slightly on his dick. He really couldn't cope with that.

"Bloody hell, can see why you've been single for eight months when you don't get a blatant come on," Craig shook his head.

"What? You mean… you, you're doing this to… so I will, er go there?" John Paul asked.

"Well yeah. Fuck you're stupid," Craig laughed.

"No… no, not stupid, I mean you're straight and here and what's the fucking chance of us meeting like we did and you suddenly deciding you want a bit of bloke, it's like some crap story," John Paul was sure about that.

"Dunno, maybe it's fate, or maybe, I know what I like and when I like it, I go for it. Regardless of what package it comes in. Ok so never felt the need to explore a blokes package before, but well, not gonna run away cos it's not what I normally do," Craig explained and then shivered. "Look getting cold now, can we talk about this in a minute."

"No… no we can't. I got a dick here that feels like it's gonna explode so if you mean what you say, then I can get in there with you right?" John Paul was sure he had Craig now. There was no way he would keep up the act if he did that.

"Great, thought you never would," Craig smiled. John Paul decided not to be fooled by this, he was sure Craig wouldn't think he'd go there. He'd show Craig he couldn't take the piss out of him and wanted to see how scared he'd look when John Paul actually got in with him. Pulling off his clothes, he stepped in with Craig then kind of stood there, wondering when Craig was going to run. "Let's get some water running eh?" Craig said smiling. John Paul was sure he would crack at any moment. Craig took hold of the shower gel and started to rub John Paul's chest with it.

"What you doing?" He asked looking a little confused.

"Er… shower gelling your chest," Craig knew that was an easy question to answer.

"Why?" John Paul asked, he was sure Craig should have belted knowing his wind up had failed.

"Cos I wanna touch your chest. Wanna touch you. Sorry, do you just go for the bonk without the foreplay then, cos you know, a little nervous about the bonking thing, so a bit of foreplay would help. Plus, well it's more intimate and well, close with foreplay, not so bend over an spread, if yer get what I mean," Craig blushed and wondered if he sounded a bit wussy with the intimate and close thing, not the bend over and spread part.

John Paul grabbed Craig's cheeks and kissed him, thinking this was the thing that would make Craig give up the tease. He was sure this couldn't be real, it was too fucking good. Much to his surprise and delight, Craig's tongue played happily with his as the kiss got more heated and the hands started to roam. Pulling back to breath, John Paul looked at Craig.

"Don't do one night… well one morning stands," he stated.

"Nah, as I said, nor do I," Craig replied.

"What, what if you don't like it?" John Paul had to ask.

"Well guess that's up to you to make me like it eh?" Craig chuckled as John Paul grinned.

"So we'll, yer know still see each other, like another day then, you know, as… er... boyfriends?" Well he had to check, he really didn't want the feeling of it being a quick under and up.

"Er, yeah. See how it goes yeah? Who knows, you might me the one and I might be your one, you know, with all that split souls bollocks that people love," Craig grinned.

John Paul couldn't help but grab Craig's cheeks, one facial and one arse and get snogging again.

Needless to say, the split souls bollocks was actually right and two torn apart souls reunited as one. Awwww!


End file.
